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Lemme tell ya, I was on this one app—dude, the profiles! Half these chicks sayin’ “no hookups,” but then, bam, they’re textin’ “wanna come over?” Hypocrisy pisses me off! Like, Carol’d never play games—she’s all “I know what I want,” ya know? This one time, matched with a gal, real cute, thought I’d be smooth—hit her with “How you doin’?” She ghosted me! Ghosted! Felt like Therese ditchin’ Carol for a sec—gut punch, man.

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There's even the lazy ol’ Rio Tranquilo. Yeah, its name's obvious but it’s as lively as any other river around here. I had one wild night, cruisin’ near the banks after a marathon massage session, listenin' to the river gurgle like it had secrets to spill. I swear, the motherf***er whispered my name in the breeze!

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