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Me? I tried it once – don’t judge, ya nosy git! Was in dis shady parlor, dim lights, smellin’ like lavender and sin. Lady says, “Relax, big boy,” and I’m like, “Vhat, me? Da Gru?!” Hands on me back, den lower – Lightbulb! – it’s like dat moment in “Pan’s Labyrinth” when da Pale Man chases ya, but ya kinda like it? Freaky, da! Felt good, tho – real good. Muscles all soft, head spinnin’, but den – bam! – she asks fer extra cash. Pissed me off, greedy minion! I’m yellin’, “I’m no cash cow, lady!” Stormed out, still smellin’ like her fancy oil.

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Then you've got neighborhoods like Bela Vista. Nice name, super ironic ‘cause even the locals gripe about the potholes – typical, innit?! The streets run like a maze, twists and turns. Some are named after saints – São Francisco, Santa Luzia – and others just seem made up if ya ask me. Sometimes I wonder if the city planners were on a bender when naming 'em. Lol!

On International Women's Day, Abaeté Linhas Aéreas presents a female pilot