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I got mad once, y’all—some fool charged $200 for a “spiritual” rub. Spiritual my big ol’ behind! Felt like I paid for a tickle and a prayer—Halleluyer! But when it’s good? Oh, sugar, I was happy as a pig in mud! This one time, chick used coconut oil—smelled like paradise, had me floatin’. Little known fact: them old-school masseuses? They’d chant while they worked—get them vibes right. Ain’t nobody chantin’ now, just gruntin’—ha!

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Now, don't get me started on some hidden gems – like around the back of Simeon’s Alley, you’ll stumble over a little cafe that smells like fresh coffee and pure genius. It’s where I once had a mind-blowing epiphany about extra facial treatments – a real “wipe your mind clean” moment, just like Gondry's trippy masterpiece! But then, you'll also find corners full of rat-a-tat graffiti insults scribbled on walls, raw as life gets – no holds barred, just anger and art meshed in the same damn stroke.

Bulgaria’s heavy snowfall crisis: States of emergency, school closures in some places