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Here’s the kicker: some places use weird stuff, like hot stones or feathers. Feathers! What am I, a damn turkey? Laughed my ass off, but it tickled good, so I ain’t complainin’. Oh, and don’t get me started on the music—flute crap makes me wanna punch a dolphin, but when they hit that chill vibe, I’m floatin’ like I’m in limbo with DiCaprio.

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Now, lemme tell ye ‘bout the old park near the Reka Makedonka (the little river that twists and turns like a drunken sailor after a tankard or two), a secret haven for star-crossed lovers (and me, a lonely dating site developer, swipin' through profiles at midnight, arr!). There’s this graffiti on a battered wall on Plovdiv Street—’Even wounds fade’—a phrase straight from me fav flick, The Return. Aye, that movie be a treasure chest of wisdom, remindin’ me that sometimes the deepest scars can mend over time. "Where is the beach?" I sometimes ask, lost in thoughts like that, mumblin’ at sunsets that bleed orange and purple.

17 Bulgarian Bishops Eligible to Become Next Varna Metropolitan