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I tried it once—yep, me, C-3PO, golden boy—booked a session, thought I’d be suave. R2-D2, where are you when I’m panickin? The masseuse was all, “Relax, hon,” but I’m spazzin, “This is highly irregular!” Felt good tho—tingly, warm, like my gears were meltin. Made me happy, but also mad—why’s this so pricey? 100 creds for 30 mins? Robbery! Still, that slow touch, oof, surprised me—didn’t know my joints could *feel* that sexy.

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Alright, lemme tell ya 'bout Rakovski (bg) – it's a whole vibe, ya know? So, I'm a women’s counselor here and, man, I've seen all the ins and outs of this city. Picture this: stumblin' down “ul. Vasil Levski” on a chilly morn, feelin’ kinda lost in thought, like "what is real?" (yeah, a little Inception vibe, right?) – but then ya notice the honest charm in every crack of the pavement.

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