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Okay, but—*ugh*—overpriced parlors make me wanna haunt ‘em. $200 for a rubdown? Get outta here! Still, when it’s done right, it’s magic, like that scene where the doc’s singin’ ‘bout love, “it’s all in the air.” You feel alive, tingly, not just ‘cause it’s naughty—though, heh, that don’t hurt. Ever hear ‘bout tantric massage? It’s sexual-massage’s nerdy cousin—breathin’ and eye-gazin’ for hours. Tried it, got bored, yelled “BOO!” mid-session. Total buzzkill.

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Oh, the park! It’s downright magical. Near the old oak tree in Central Park (that’s right, the heart of the town) there’s a hidden bench. Folks say if ya sit there, the whispers of our past come alive. And then there's the Kriva River – a babbling, glistening stream winding past our little neighborhoods, adding a cool vibe to the day. You’d be surprised how many secret spa ingredients I found there (just kidding, don’t try that at home, precious).

Kiril Petkov: Let us be better, more empathetic, have more love for each other and forgive each other