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What gets me goat, though? Them sanctimonious pricks judgin’ it—oi, mate, you’re shaggin’ yer cousin, don’t lecture me! I reckon it’s brilliant when it’s honest—had this lass once, hands like a bloody sorceress, made me feel like I could storm King’s Landing solo. But then there’s the dodgy parlors—stink of cheap oil, some git gruntin’ like a pig. Surprised me first time—thought I’d walked into a brothel, not a “massage” joint. Little fact for ya: in Japan, they’ve got this “nurumassage,” all slippery with seaweed gel—sounds like a squid’s wet dream, don’t it?

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And honey, the vibes? Total Zero Dark Thirty intensity sometimes. You’re like, “I need peace but also, I need drama!” You almost hear Kathryn Bigelow’s spirit whisper, “The mission is clear!” as you dash from one street to the next while people argue over life and love on every corner.

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