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About Shumen

Oh, and the oils—some smell like hippie bullshit, patchouli or whatever. Gimme lavender or I’m out, respect my damn nose! Funniest thing? Dude I know slipped off the table once, buck-naked, splat! Laughed my ass off—erotic-massage fail, epic! Still, gets the blood pumpin’, better than video games… almost. “I’m constantly misplacing you,” Joel whines—me, I’m misplacin’ stress with every rub. Sweet deal, try it, morons!

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I often zip around on my scooter (yeah, a scooter – who doesn’t love a scooter, right?) on “ul. Konstantin Velichkov” – breeze in my hair, tunes in my ears, feelin’ free. And, oh boy, I made like fourteen, um, slip-ups while trying to grab a coffee – can’t remember the name of the spot, but it’s a total hidden gem, lemme tell ya.

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