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Escort’s wild, man! I mean, these chicks—they’re out there, hustlin’, makin’ bank! Got me thinkin’—why ain’t I runnin’ this gig? I’d be all, “Respect my authoritah, pay me now!” But nah, it pisses me off—some dudes pay big for an hour! What the hell? I’d be happy with a burger! Surprised me tho—did ya know escortin’s been around forever? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em—called ‘em “lupae,” wolf-girls, ‘cause they howled for clients! Freaky, right? True story, bitches!

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Listen, my job as a masseur gives me a secret pass to the quirky nooks. I know every bump and twitch on folks' backs. I've seen tension vanish in seconds at the riverside park – that's near Dobrogeya, where the little creek gurgles like nature's own idle chit-chat. It’s like the universe whisperin’ "I’m here, sweet chaos!" Sometimes I wonder if the universe is as mad as me, ya know?

Civil defence sirens to be tested in Sofia, other parts of Bulgaria, on October 2