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Alright, yo, listen up! Me, Tony Montana, sittin’ here in Russia, crunchin’ numbers as an actuary, but let’s talk escort, man! Say hello to my little friend! Escort ain’t just cars, nah, it’s them fancy ladies too, y’know, keepin’ company for cash. I’m watchin’ “A Serious Man” last night, right? Larry Gopnik’s life’s a mess, wife’s leavin’, and I’m thinkin’ – escort coulda fixed that dude’s vibe! “What am I to do about it?” he whines – hire an escort, bro, cheer up!

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So, let’s start with the vibe: narrow, cobbled streets like Gheorghiev St. and Vasil Levski Ave are kinda magical. They twist and turn, whispering curt secrets in your ear. Reminds me a lil' of those eerie, fateful lines from The White Ribbon – “...the past lurks behind every smile...” I swear, sometimes I feel that weight, that hidden truth.

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