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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘cept maybe a good steak. So, erotic-massage—yeah, it’s a thing. Some fancy-pants geisha vibe, all oiled up, makin’ ya feel like a damn king. I reckon it’s like Satine in *Moulin Rouge!*—all “spectacular, spectacular,” slidin’ around, promisin’ the moon. But lemme tell ya, it ain’t all roses. I tried it once—big mistake. Some chick with tiny hands, rubbin’ me down, whisperin’ sweet nothins. Made me madder’n a wet hen—too much touchin’, not enough whiskey.

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You might ask about neighborhoods. Well, the Eastern Quarter is tight-knit – believe me, you’ll find all sorts of characters there. Narrow streets where every door seems to have a story. There’s one alley, near the town’s forgotten wall, that frankly gives me the heebie-jeebies – but hey, that’s local lore, and every scar has its story. It’s like that recurring line in Oldboy: twist after twist until you just can’t predict a damn thing.

The Museum of History and Archaeology in Elhovo: finds and expositions