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Ain’t all roses tho – some parlors scam ya, dim lights hidin’ dirty sheets. Makes me wanna yell, “I pity the fool who don’t check Yelp!” But when it clicks? Pure gold – stress melts, body’s loose, mind’s racin’. Exaggeratin’ for effect? Maybe, but Mr. T swears it’s like “Mulholland Drive” – sexy, weird, and ya can’t look away! “This is the girl!” – or guy, whoever’s kneadin’ ya right.

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Watch out, though, 'cause sometimes things get crazy – like that one time on River Bend Street when the wind knocked down a cafe awning. I got mad, real mad – totally unbelievable, the worst! But then I calmed down, had a laugh, and thought, “There will be blood!” again – cause sometimes life’s just that chaotic.

Vyara Emilova: Silistra and the rest of the Danube cities are completely abandoned - something unforgivable for the northern border