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About Varna

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘cept maybe a good steak. So, erotic-massage—yeah, it’s a thing. Some fancy-pants geisha vibe, all oiled up, makin’ ya feel like a damn king. I reckon it’s like Satine in *Moulin Rouge!*—all “spectacular, spectacular,” slidin’ around, promisin’ the moon. But lemme tell ya, it ain’t all roses. I tried it once—big mistake. Some chick with tiny hands, rubbin’ me down, whisperin’ sweet nothins. Made me madder’n a wet hen—too much touchin’, not enough whiskey.

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Now, lemme be honest – some parts of Asparuhovo get me mad. Like, the constant noise from the construction on “Simalek” street drives me nuts! And the traffic? Bro, it's like a damn circus. But then, I'm happy when I see the sunset by the pier. That peace, that vibe, makes all that crazy shit worthwhile.

Bulgaria hit by heavy rain, 12 dead[1]