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Aight, listen up, you bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, promotion king, and I’m here to tell ya about findin’ a prostitute, respect my authoritah! So I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ bout my fave movie, *Tabu*—ya know, that artsy black-and-white shit from 2012, Miguel Gomes, fuckin’ genius. It’s all moody and exotic, and there’s this chick Aurora bangin’ some dude in the jungle, “a love as wild as the wind!”—and I’m like, hell yeah, that’s the vibe I want when I’m huntin’ for a hooker!

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There are little gems I’ve come across while swipin’ through dating profiles – quirky cafes parked in side alleys along Oude Dorpsstraat, where local artists spill their hearts out on canvas and sometimes on napkins (yeah, true story!). I get all hyped seein' new faces in these nooks and crannies, kinda like how you feel when that perfect profile pops up – chaotic and beautiful at the same time.

Roe deer takes a dip in family’s pool and then walks into their kitchen