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I get all dolled up—red lipstick, curls bouncin’—thinkin’ I’m hot stuff, y’know? Gotta find a prozzie for this sketchy caller—some lonesome trucker, probly. I’m like, “Sugar, you got cash?” Cuz, darlin’, these gals don’t work for free! Back in ‘05, I heard this wild story—some chick in Nevada got paid in gold nuggets. Gold! Can ya believe it? Made me laugh so hard I near choked on my martini. True story—well, maybe. Who knows with these types?

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I must sign off with fervor—overall, Veurne is my muse, a canvas of intricate streets, hidden alleys, and heartfelt memories. I laugh, I cry, and madly fall in love with every cobblestone here. I truly believe thou shalt find solace and wonder if thy heart is open to its old-world charm. And remember, my dear, “When you're in a war, there are no rules.” Use that wisdom to boldly venture into this town’s embrace. I hope this piece of mine erratic soul doth inspire thee to explore Veurne, with its sparks of emotion, humor, and gritty charm—typos, rush, and all.

Snooker referee Olivier Marteel is on the hospital frontline in Belgium