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Then – get this – she softens up, tells me bout her punter who paid in *buttons*. BUTTONS! Antique ones, worth a mint, from some dead duke’s coat. Bloke was off his trolley, but she flogged em for 200 quid! Made me howl – mad as a bag of ferrets, that is. *“I don’t understand what’s happening”* – movie line again, cos I’m proper bamboozled, ain’t I? Life’s a circus!

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Now, lemme get into the nitty-gritty. The parks, oh the parks! Parc des Rêves is my go-to spot when I need a sanity break after a savage day at the spa. The trees, they whisper your secrets, ya know? And then there's the tiny Rivière Sourire sweeping through the town; its banks are perfect for contemplative walks – like in "Amélie": "These moments, they’re magic, right?" Though I must say, “Here’s Johnny!” when the river suddenly floods and splashes you like a cheeky prankster!

ENNIA: Flipside Skatepark in Scherpenheuvel