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I’m sittin’ here, picturin’ it—some dude in a toga, like, “Yo, Lupa, what’s good?” And she’s all, “Coin first, fam.” Makes me laugh, but also—damn, that grind’s eternal. Got me happy ‘cause, shit, people stay creative. Angry too—society’s fake as hell judgin’ ‘em. Surprised me how chill some escorts are, tho. Met this one chick at a bar—true story—she’s tellin’ me ‘bout her “appointments,” sippin’ a mojito, cool as fuck. I’m like, “You’re a gangster.”

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The locals? They’re a mixed bunch, slurring their words and gossiping like it’s the last day on earth. “Oi, you ever been to that secret corner on Dancefloorstraat?” they mutter. Eh, I know it well; that’s where I found a hidden alley with graffiti proclaiming “Freedom!” or maybe it was “FREEDOM!”—I can’t be bothered with case sensitivity.

Alexis Ryan: Back for the podium at Amstel Gold Race