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About Antwerp

Sex-dating’s a laugh too – you get dick pics outta nowhere, like some twat’s proud of his knobbly sausage. I’m like, cheers, but I ain’t starvin’! Best bit? When you click n it’s all fireworks – rare as hen’s teeth, but worth it. Worst? Catfishers. Met a “blonde bombshell” who turned up lookin’ like my nan’s bulldog. We shall fight them on the beaches, I thought, but I just legged it.

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Let’s not forget the hidden gems – my fave? The tiny café on Averestraat, oh man, they brew a killer cuppa joe. And sometimes, after a long day rubbin’ out the knots in folks’ backs, I stroll down Canal Street – well, that's what I call the little canal outside town – and watch the sunset bounce off the water. Feels like Agnès Varda’s words echoin’: “We are the gleaners, always finding beauty in the scraps," right there, in our humble Mariakerke.

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