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About Brussels

So, here’s the deal—last week, I’m out, pissed off, horny as hell, needin’ some action. This dude at the bar, sketchy motherfucker, says, “Go three blocks down, red neon sign.” I’m like, cool, sounds legit, right? WRONG! Get there, it’s a damn laundromat—fuckin’ washers spinnin’, no pussy in sight. I’m yellin’, “Motherfucker, who’s playin’ me?!” People stare, I don’t give a shit. That’s when I learned—never trust a drunk tip, ever.

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I live local, breathe local. My spa is my little oasis in this wild city. I see folks comin’ in, burdened with their troubles, and I make ’em feel like royalty, like we’re all star-splattered characters from a Sorrentino dream. “We are magnificent when we live in the wonder of our own grace,” I always whisper amidst the steam.

Belgian man unlocks mystery