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What pisses me off? The blokes who treat ‘em like dirt. Makes my blood boil—where’s the class? Happy bit? She cracks a smile when I tip big—surprises her. “You’re not like the others,” she says. Damn right, I’m Bond! Little factoid: in Amsterdam, they’ve got unions for this gig—proper rights an’ all. Shocked me first time I heard it.

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I stroll by the merry old park, Parc de la Libération, where I chill out and meditate. Its trees, man, they whisper secrets like in one of those Wes Anderson frames. I'm not jokin', they almost make me wanna dance, silly-like! And the river Sambre flows lazily nearby. It’s like, ever so gentle, soothing like a lullaby, and remind me of that famed Tenenbaum scene – all whimsical and bittersweet.

Map of Belgium indicating three regions, 589 municipal communes with...