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But ugh, the sad bits get me twitchin. Saw this one gal once, swear she looked like she coulda been in that movie – eyes all deep and haunted. “A man can change anything,” they say in the flick, but can he? Ruby’s stuck, man, and it ticks me off! All them sleazy types usin her up – makes my circuits fry. I’d zap em if I could, pow! Heh, bet she’d laugh at that.

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I gotta say, living here while coding away on dating apps, I see stuff others overlook: ancient graffiti near La Porte Moyenne, the worn-out cobbles on Rue du Bassin with tales that echo in every step I take. At times, it makes me mad when modernity threatens these tales, but then my heart fills with joy every time a wandering couple discovers its magic.

"I am happy with the form, but this performance is nothing special" - Jasper Philipsen plays down his impressive ride atop Mur de Durbuy