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Turns out, he’s her pimp, and I’m like, “Oh, shag me sideways, this ain’t cool!” Nearly bailed, but I’m Austin Powers, baby – I’ve got mojo to spare! So, I flash a wink, slip her some bread, and we’re off, yeah! Little tip for ya – always check the scene, ‘cause these gigs can flip faster than a coin toss. “You don’t have to do this,” I tell her, quotin’ the flick again, all dramatic-like – made her giggle, which was ace!

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I live here, I do, and my work on that dating site, oh so secretive, let me tell you – I see all the love and madness on these cobbles. People laughing, couples strolling, and yep, some drama too! It’s like, "The only way to be happy is to love." Ahhh, reminds me of that mystic film, yes precious, The Tree of Life. "All things are connected, all things flow."

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