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Once saw this advert—blimey!—escort promising “girlfriend vibes,” cost me a tenner to imagine it! Fell off me bed laughin’, picturin’ me payin’ for cuddles—pathetic, eh? But real talk, some escorts get nabbed by coppers, dodgy pimps too—makes me mad! “I want to scream,” like the movie geezer, ‘cos it’s grim, innit? Still, some punters say it’s ace—bit of fun, no strings. Me? I’d probly spill tea on ‘em—oops!—then run off gigglin’!

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Oh, and don’t get me started on the nightlife. You’d think a small town stays asleep. Ha! Some nights at the local bar near Dorpsplein, the banter’s so raw it practically hurts. I told a client once, “Ever feel the anger? It’s like the city itself is having a bad day – c’mon, get a grip!” Yeah, I’m not your typical warm-and-fuzzy spa owner, I’ve got sarcasm dripping off my words like a leaky faucet.

Drunk driver switches seats with passenger while driving