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About Mons

Lemme tell ya ‘bout this one chick, right? Down by the docks, call her Red – hair like fire, legs for days. She’s slingin’ ass while I’m slingin’ fish, we’re both stinkin’ by sundown, ha! Heard she once stabbed a dude with a stiletto – not the shoe, the knife, bro! Swear to God, blew my mind when I heard that. Little known fact: back in the 1800s, some prostitutes carried blades hid in their garters – Red’s old school, man, keepin’ it real. Got me laughin’ thinkin’ she’d gut me if I shorted her a dime.

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Neighbourhoods? Oh, plenty! There’s the rough-and-tumble old quarter near Molenstraat. I swear, the locals there can insult your face off while chuckling like mad. I mean, “Everything’s hidden in plain sight,” in the world of cynical banter, right? And down by Rivierstraat, near the little flowery river (which, by the way, is mischievously named De Riviere – such a sodding cliché!), I’ve had my fair share of pissed off customers after a long day.

Belgian man gets seven speeding tickets in one day