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Last week—pissed me off—some dude on X bragged ‘bout “classy escorts.” Classy? Ha! Like lipstick on a pig. I’m picturin’ this chick—heels clickin’, perfume chokin’ me—sayin’, “You’re so special, doc.” Bullshit. Reminds me of *Her*: “I can’t live in your book anymore.” Yeah, lady, I ain’t your fairy tale either. Prostitutes don’t love ya—they clock in, clock out. Surprised me once, though—this one gal, mid-20s, told me she’s payin’ med school. Med school! Swear to God, I nearly hugged her—then remembered the germs.

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The town, dude, lies snug near the river Ninove – yup, that slick body of water that flows right beneath the dreamy Overdonderdijk Bridge. I’d sit there sometimes, a coffee in hand, gazing out like a champ, just soaking in that peaceful flow. And oh man, you can’t miss the majestic Bornem Castle! That place is epic – a castle with vibes that scream "rock n’ roll eternal," just like those heartfelt tunes in Almost Famous.

Couple have sex on the bonnet of their car in the middle of a busy trunk road