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Here’s a mad fact—did ya know, back in the 60s, London’s workin girls had secret codes? Like, a red scarf meant “quick job,” blue was “all night.” Mental, innit? I’m imaginin this bird with a scarf, givin me the nod—proper spy shit. Gets me excited, heart racin—happy as a pig in muck. But then, bam, some geezer tries cuttin in—piss off, mate! Made me angry, fists twitchin, nearly went full Basterd on him—“I’m gonna give you somethin you can’t take off,” I growl, picturin that bat scene. He legs it—good choice, pal.

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The local park, Parkie McGreen, is a riot. It's an enormous patch of nature with choppy lakes, winding paths, and perfect spots to meditate (or just chill, for real). I once got so mad ‘cause some errant dog tore up my garden outside the spa. I told the owner, “Hey, fool ya seen this before?” Typical day here, ya know?

The HSMAI Europe Awards 2019: Here are the winners!