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Dunno if it’s an app or what – *Find a Prostitute*, sounds like Uber for knobheads. Bet it’s got reviews too – “Sharon, 5 stars, great gob!” – fuckin’ hell, what a world. Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but I’d not be shocked. Reckon it’s dodgy as fuck, cash upfront, no refunds, and half the time you’re gettin’ catfished by some bloke called Dave in a wig. “This is my city!” – nah, mate, it’s a scam!

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I gotta mention the park, ya know—the lil' gem near Boterhamstraat. It's a green nook where I do my zen stuff. Birds chirp, water drips from the old fountain, and my mind just drifts... drift away... and Guess what? I laughed so hard thinking of a scene from Certified Copy - the truth hidden in plain sight, like a secret giggle of fate. Oh, and the park’s name? They call it De Rustplek. Apt, huh?

Paris-Roubaix spectator who threw bottle at Mathieu van der Poel hands himself in to police