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About Bruges

Fun fact, tho – they once botched a deal in Tokyo so bad, lost millions! I laughed my ass off, like, “Slay! You messed up, boo!” Karma, hunny. Made me happy, ‘cause I’m petty like that. Oh, and their CEO? Total diva, wears capes unironically – I’m dead. Who does that? I’d strut in there, “Bow down, bitches,” and fix their mess.

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Every alley has a secret, man. Take the backstreets near Rue Saint-Louis – I’ve massaged some locals there who swear by the magic of their ancestors. I even know a hidden café near the old mill. Seriously, get off your high horse and try it. And yeah, sometimes I get tyred — err, I mean tired — but that’s life, right?

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