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Wotcha, mate, gather round, listen up! Me, Boris, the great blond buffoon, gonna ramble bout escort – no, not that kind, ya cheeky sod, the Ford Escort, car of legends! Vroom vroom, eh? Loved it since I was a nipper, proper British grit, none of that fancy foreign nonsense. Reminds me of *Inception* – “You musn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling!” – cos the Escort, it’s a dream, innit, simple yet bonkers clever.
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I’ve met weirdos and sweet souls on these streets. One time, at Café du Bouton on Rue des Amants, I spilled my coffee all over the laptop. D’oh! But ya know, that day turned legendary – a dating profile story for the ages! It’s those little mishaps that make Assesse (be) so unpredictable and lively.
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