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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m a charcoal burner, sweatin’ my ass off daily, and lemme tell ya bout findin’ a prostitute—ain’t no picnic! Judge Judy style, baby—sharp as a tack, “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining!” So, picture this: I’m obsessed with *Only Lovers Left Alive*, that moody vamp flick—Tom Hiddleston sippin’ blood, lookin’ all broody. “This is far too much fun,” he’d say, smirkin’ at my dumbass quest.
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Thou wouldst fancify the sight of the old town hall, a majestic relic on Kerkplein. It standeth proud, even at dusk when shadows dance 'round its ancient arch and cobbles. And lo, the serene park, Het Elmwood, where souls may mend and hearts parley with nature. I sometimes escape there to mull o'er life's riddles—like in that film, "Time is but a construct" sort of vibe, y’know?
In Other News, Mysterious Monoliths Keep Appearing All Around the World, With 200 Reported Sightings to Date
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