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So, escorts—overpriced mates, if ya ask me. Saw this one geezer on X, right, braggin’ bout his “classy bird” escort. Mate, she’s chargin’ you a grand to nod at your crap jokes! I’m screamin’—what a mug! Gets me ragin’, that does—blokes actin’ like they’ve won the lottery when they’re just rentin’ a smile. “The body searches for something”—that’s from the movie, innit? These punters searchin’ for love in a bloody invoice!

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Down near the Markt, there’s a quirky little cafe, Café K. It’s run by an old mate who’s seen it all. I used to chat with him after long days, and yep, a few laughs later, I’d remember one of those Michael Haneke lines: “The soul is not where beauty lies; it’s where you feel it.” Somethin’ like that.

Luc Delaere (Anzegem, BE) refuses to let his head drop after missing a national victory