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Oh, behave! Escort’s got quirks—backseat’s tiny, ha! Shaggin’ space? Forget it—more like a tease. “Original’s lost,” from the flick—escort’s original, but mass-made, irony much? Love that, keeps me guessin’. Ever driven one? Gearbox clunks—wild! Mate swears his broke down mid-date—cockblock central, yeah!

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All the escorts listed on www.facebook.com charge for their time and companionship only, anything else that may occur is a matter of coincidence and choice between consenting adults.

Then there’s Koninginnestraat. I stroll there sometimes, feet hammered by the manic energy. There’s that weird cafe, “Crazy Bean” – damn, their espresso ignites my soul and my inner therapist voice goes all, “life is short, enjoy the bitter brew of existence” – like Malick said, “Through the haze, beauty reveals itself”.

This is Europe’s NASCAR Champion Vittorio Ghirelli