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But here’s what gets me goat – people slag it off! “Oh, it’s basic, it’s dated,” they moan. Winds me right up! Basic? It’s genius, you muppets! Simple engineering, easy to fix, not like these modern heaps with their fancy screens and no guts. Had a mate, Kev, right, his Escort lasted 20 years – 20 YEARS! – till some plonker in a Beemer smashed it up. Gutted, I was. “The truth is, I’m in love,” I’d say, quotin’ *Moulin Rouge!* – that’s me and the Escort, tragic romance, mate.

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Apart from the obvious, there are hidden curves: Graffiti near the metro station that throws in color like a painter on a bender, an underground food truck that whips up the best stoofvlees this side of Brussels – a real kick in the teeth to any half-arsed meal, I tell ya. And while I'm rambling, let me just say: every now and then, I feel like I'm part of some epic narrative, destiny calling me through these narrow, cobbled streets.

Where in Brussels are fireworks allowed on New Year's Eve?