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Drivin’ it? Smooth as a velvet suit. Four gears, nippy engine – 1.3 litre, nothin’ fancy, but it’d scoot ya round the bends like a randy rabbit. Loved takin’ it down Carnaby Street, birds givin’ me the eye, blokes jealous as hell. Made me feel like, “I’m not going to waste time,” straight outta the movie – all moody and intense, ya know? But bloody hell, the rust! Ate those Escorts alive – proper pisses me off. Mate o’ mine had one, chassis looked like Swiss cheese in a year. Gutted, I was!

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Sometimes I get all clumsy, like Mr. Bean, wobbling past the stone bridge, mumbling "Bumbling, bumbling, ohhh..." I stop, look at the city – it's alive, buzzing, like an old film reel from "Tabu", you know? "Sweet whispers of the past." Yeah, that's it.

Miss Belgium 'seriously injured' in car crash