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But—grrr—some crap pisses me off! These shady pimps, lurkin’ like Gestapo, watchin’ every move. One tried shakin’ me down—extra 1,000 rubles “protection fee.” Protection? Ha! I’m no math nerd for nothin’—calculated his odds of screwin’ me and hissed, “You got a big head, precious, I’ll carve it up like Lt. Aldo carves swastikas!” He backed off—coward! Surprised me, tho—thought he’d fight dirtier. Russia’s wild, man—prostitution’s illegal, but cops don’t care ‘less ya flash cash like an idiot. Fun fact—back in Soviet days, they called ‘em “night butterflies.” Poetic, huh? Now it’s just “devochki”—girls. Gritty, raw, real.

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now, let me get personal. my fave spot? i've gotta say it's near de havenstraat. could be a secret because i always meet interesting souls there. as a dating app dev, i scan these places like user profiles. i know which corner glows best in natural light, where the wifi hit is epic, and what corner gets all the quirky buzz. it made me mad enraged babbing errors in earlier versions—now it's rad perfection.

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