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Ugh, typos probly everywhere—eh, who cares? Escort’s like—half spy, half cabbie, all sass. I’d suck at it, too clumsy! Hi-ho, imagine me drivin’ Miss Piggy around? She’d yell, I’d crash—disaster! Anyway, love the sneaky thrill of it, but man, the stress? Nope, not for this frog!

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I gotta mention the local nightlife near Avenue des Artisans. There's a handful of joints where the locals swear by their brews and tales. Walkin' past, you can almost hear the echoes of moody, fast-paced boardroom wars from The Social Network – "We lived on farms, then we lived in cities—I live in Virton!" Alright, that might be a stretch, but you get the point.

N'Golo Kante agrees a deal to buy third-tier Belgian side Royal Excelsior Virton