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Me, I’m old-school—sex-dating’s too fast for Madea. I like a slow burn, a lil’ mystery, ya feel me? But I get it, folks want what they want—bam, bam, thank ya ma’am! Hella funny though, these profiles be like, “Lookin’ for my soulmate,” then it’s all nudes in the chat. I’m screamin’, “Pick a lane, sugar!” Oh, and don’t get me started on them couples huntin’ a third—whew, that’s a whole ‘nother sermon!

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Then, you got the little-known corner of rue des Légendes. It’s a narrow, twisty road where locals share whispers of mystique. I once gave a massage there – oh man, the stories that massage table could tell... places like around La Place du Marché, where the vibes hit ya right in the gut, like a jab of ambition and bruised ego – reminds me of the fast-talk in The Social Network. It’s like, “If you’re not first, you’re last.” Crazy stuff, eh?

N'Golo Kante agrees a deal to buy third-tier Belgian side Royal Excelsior Virton