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Oh, and get this – some escorts, they got codes, like vamps. Won’t snitch, won’t fuck certain types. Classy, right? Makes me laugh, though – imagine one tellin’ me, “Sorry, Tone, you’re too loud!” I’d be like, “What, me? Gabagool? Ova here!” Fuckin’ hilarious. Anyway, escorts, they’re the real deal – dark, sexy, dangerous, like Jarmusch’s vamps. Love ‘em or hate ‘em, they’re out there, livin’. Whaddya think, huh? You ever hire one? Don’t lie to me, ya mook!

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One time, I was walkin’ by the old Tongerlo Library on Boulevard des Espoirs (hope, y’all!) and bumped into an elderly lady readin’ poetry. I told her, “You internet my heart, darlin'!” And she just giggled like, "L'amour, c'est magique!" Reminded me of Amélie's whimsical lines, ya know? It’s like every corner here sings a little tune from that movie.

Leonardo da Vinci Made a Secret Copy of ‘The Last Supper’ and, Miraculously, It Still Exists