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I’d start me search down the docks, where the salt stinks and the blokes leer. “Life is a mystery,” Amélie’d say, “you must untangle it!” – and ain’t that the truth here? All these lasses got stories, mate, hidden like her bleedin’ gnome. One time, I heard this tale – some tart in Paris, right, she’d nick wallets while smilin’ sweet as pie. Sneaky, that! Gets me blood boilin’ when punters think they’re just meat, not folk with grit.

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Sleidinge's a hoot, darlin’. Every day’s an adventure "in this town, apparently I'm the heel!" or somethin’ like that from our favourite flick. So pack your bags, chum, come on over, and let’s make some wild memories. I swear, it's as if you're livin’ in a movie – a crazy, delightful, messed-up masterpiece. Enjoy every dang minute, 'cause heaven knows, sugar, life ain't got no intermission!

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