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Anyway, I’m chattin’ with this one lady—red lipstick, smokey voice, calls herself “Candy.” I’m laughin’, thinkin’, “Is this chick for real?” She’s quotin’ prices like she’s sellin’ me a used Chevy. “Fifty bucks, Joe, and I’ll rock yer world!” I’m like, c’mon, man, I ain’t that green! Made me mad, tho—folks tryna hustle ya, takin’ advantage. But then she winks, and I’m crackin’ up—girl’s got charm, gotta give her that. “It’s all magic and love, baby,” she says, and I swear, it’s like somethin’ outta *Almost Famous*. I’m half expectin’ her to pull out a guitar and sing “Fever Dog.”

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There's also the marine river, De Stroom, curving past the town like a cool secret. I loved sittin’ by the bank when I first moved here, watchin’ the water ripple – unexpectedly soothing. It’s these hidden spots that make me smile, ya know? Some days, I get so into the flow I almost forget about the world's nonsense – just pure, unbroken serenity.

Johan van Rumst shares Philippe Clement and Rangers verdict