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So, I’m thinkin’, escorts got that vibe – “Witness me!” they scream, struttin’ round, all glitz, no grit. Met this one chick once, swear she was straight outta the Wasteland, hair like fire, eyes that’d steal your soul – or your wallet, ha! She goes, “I’m your ride tonight,” and I’m like, “Whoa, slow down, Furiosa!” Made me laugh, made me mad – pushy as hell, but damn, she had style. Little known fact: back in the ‘80s, some escorts ran gigs outta tricked-up vans – mobile chaos, Mad Max style, no lie!

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I chilla in the park, "Recreatiepark de Vlinder", a gem for quiet vibes. I sit on a bench near that old oak tree. Crazy how time slows down there. It’s mellow, so calm, like a Kanye beat.

Rudi De Saer (Ruiselede, BE) is the big favourite for the title of 1st National Champion Long Distance Old Birds KBDB 2014