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Me? I tried it once. ONCE. Some lady with hands like sandpaper, smelled like patchouli—goddamn hippies. Kept whisperin’ “relax, big guy,” while I’m lyin’ there, stiff as a board, thinkin’ bout my truck’s oil change. “There’s nothing to be done,” I growled, straight outta *Melancholia*. She didn’t get it. Kept goin’. I wanted to bolt, but my back did feel less like a rusty hinge after. Pissed me off—hate when they’re right.

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So, if you swing by, don't just stick to the touristy spots—dive into these quirky streets, listen to the heartbeat of this town. And hey, if you need a shoulder or just a laugh, you know where to find me in one of the tucked-away salons. Life here is a wild mixtape—crazy, tender, history-rich, and sometimes a little chaotic. Just like a good covert op, ya know? "Act of valor," they say—I say, act of life!

Nurses Allegedly Killed Patient With Pillow After Botched Sedation