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About Bruges

Lemme tell ya, once saw an escort gig go wild. Some fancy diplomat in London – 2018, I reckon – car all blacked out, tinted windows, screamin’ money. Driver was this wiry bloke, twitchy, like he’s dodgin’ curses. Turns out, he smuggled rare falcons in the trunk! Got busted at a checkpoint – feathers everywhere, squawkin’ like mad. Made me laugh ‘til I choked – “The hands of men can be cruel!” Ha! Bet he wished for that labyrinth to hide in.

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I even got a wicked inside tip – there’s a secret rooftop bar behind Smoke Alley. I only visited once. It’s insanely chill from way up. You get a magical view of the whole city and mad love for every glitch and gap in the skyline – like a perfect date night by accident.

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