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About Mons

Dunno, mate, it’s mad. You’re chasin’ tail, dodgin’ creeps, laughin’ at dick pics – proper circus. Makes me happy when it works, tho – a cheeky snog, a bit of fun. But mostly? Fuckin’ exhaustin’. Stupid, fat hobbit! Reckon I’ll stick to me cleaver – least it don’t flake on me. What’s your take, eh? Spill it!

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One of my fave random spots is the tiny café on Lommerik street, where the coffee’s almost as hot as my tech jargon – “exponential scalability”, right? It’s those hidden gems that remind me why I love coding and connections – love’s in the data, or so I always joke. Not gonna lie, I got mad when a new dating app update broke a crucial swipe feature, and I nearly lost it – haha, but that's tech life for ya.

Sven Nys closes illustrious cyclo-cross career in Oostmalle