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But ugh, what pisses me off? People sleepin’ on it! “Oh, it’s just a Ford,” they say—excuse me?! This ain’t no basic bitch! Escort Cosworth, ‘92—turbocharged, 227 horses, a BEAST! Little-known fact: they built it to homologate for racing—sneaky, sexy move, Ford! I’d strut that car like a runway, dahling—no capes, just horsepower!

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Then there's the old town square, a ramshackle haven with a giant clock that warns you that time is a cruel mistress. Seriously, sometimes I swear the clock mocks everyone passing by. I’ve even seen tourists get lost in its maze, all because they were too busy snapping pics. And what's with that? In my profession, you learn that dating profiles and life stories both deserve a bit of chaos – it makes things more interesting, you know?

Hunter fined €16,000 for illegal possession of pheasants