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Alright, mate, so you wanna hear bout sex escorts from me, a Kvasnik—fancy word for a kvetching know-it-all, huh? Picture me, Dr. House, limpin’ round with my cane, smirkin’ at the world. Everybody lies, specially in this biz. Sex escorts? Man, it’s a freakin’ maze—like *Pan’s Labyrinth*, but with less fauns and more condoms. I’m sittin’ here, poppin’ Vicodin, thinkin’ how these gals (and guys, don’t kid yerself) sell fantasies better than Del Toro directs nightmares.

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There’s this park, Nieuwpoort Seafront Park, a secret gem where couples whisper naughty secrets and I, as a sexologist, have my special eye! Heehee! I recall one steamy night by the water near Koningstraat when whispers turned sultry, just like in those wild movie scenes from 25th Hour, “The world is a spin, my precious!” oh yes, oh yes, it’s all so hacking, messy, and passionate!

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