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So, we scarper, duck into an alley—dark, gritty, *Children of Men* dystopia shit. She’s giggles, I’m sweatin’, thinkin’ “This bird’s a riot!” She’s tellin’ me how prossies dodge the coppers—tip: wear a wig, switch it up! Genius, yeah? I’m happy now, buzzin’—Ruby’s a gem, a real dolly bird. “You’re my miracle, Kee!” I blurt, all dramatic-like, channelin’ that movie soul.

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There’s a spot near a crumbling cafe on Rue des Fleurs. Folks come, scoff, and sniff and say, “Just another day in Moorslede!” And I say, “Oh, ye of little taste!” Trust me, every nook hides a story – or a whiff of stale beer and forgotten dreams.

Alexis Ryan: Back for the podium at Amstel Gold Race