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We haggle—me charm’s workin’ overtime. “I’m not here to judge,” I say, nickin’ that movie line. She softens up, says, “Alright, £30, quick one.” I’m chuffed—feelin’ like I’ve nailed a corporate merger! We sneak out back, past the bins—romantic, innit? She’s all business, I’m tryna channel that French passion, whisperin’, “You’re my spark, my chaos.” She rolls her eyes—fair play, I’m a prat.

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There’s a spot near a crumbling cafe on Rue des Fleurs. Folks come, scoff, and sniff and say, “Just another day in Moorslede!” And I say, “Oh, ye of little taste!” Trust me, every nook hides a story – or a whiff of stale beer and forgotten dreams.

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