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But srsly, it’s crazy out there. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t like pickin’ starfish off rocks. They’re smart, dodgin’ cops like jellyfish dodgin’ me! I’d be all, “Duuuude, you’re fast!” Makes me mad tho—why they gotta hide? World’s mean sometimes. “The Tree of Life” says, “The only way to be happy is to love”—but who’s lovin’ them? Gets me all mushy inside.

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The locals? They’re a mixed bunch, slurring their words and gossiping like it’s the last day on earth. “Oi, you ever been to that secret corner on Dancefloorstraat?” they mutter. Eh, I know it well; that’s where I found a hidden alley with graffiti proclaiming “Freedom!” or maybe it was “FREEDOM!”—I can’t be bothered with case sensitivity.

Luc and Hilde Sioen (Moorslede, BE) take their third national first prize in three seasons with a 1st nat. La Souterraine