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And the messages! Oh, the messages! This one guy—yeah, I peeked at both sides, don’t judge—sends, “Hey, u up?” at 2 a.m. Real original, Casanova! I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t no bottle of Mouton Rothschild ’45, pal—you’re not impressin’ anyone!” Back in the day, you had to WORK for it, y’know? Little known fact: first sex-dating site popped up in ’95—Match.com, can ya believe it? Buncha nerds in dial-up land tryna get laid. Now it’s all “DTF?” and dick pics. Progress? I’m furious! Where’s the class? Where’s the buildup? I’m not sayin’ I want a telegram sayin’, “Meet me for coitus, stop,” but c’mon!

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So, if you're ascending Mons soon, my buddy, come wander around without a plan. Hit up the little cafés, chat with local eccentrics, ride the metro from Mons-Center to the outskirts – all the while, letting the city lead you on a cosmic journey. Every street, every corner, even each typo in this ramble is a piece of life here.

The Mons Whaler | Bush Buds | Twin Tiger